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Get in F***ing Shape!

 

PornHub recently rolled out a campaign to promote a healthier lifestyle. Fortunately for us and them per FDA regulations, it’s not a new salad and wheat grass bar. No seriously, PornHub has developed an interactive game and the purpose is to help people literally fuck themselves into shape. Why though? Well, it’s no secret that America is one of the fattest countries in the world and if you didn’t know that, you’re probably one of the tubsters raising the national BMI average.

So enter PornHub’s BangFit under the premise adult obesity has skyrocketed to the point people are just fat messes perusing for porn all day. It’s amazing what type of data can be aggregated via a porn site. So here’s how it works, you visit the site, click “Play” and proceed to choose how many players and genders (you can choose up to three).  Players enter their respective sync codes and showtime! Actually, that’s after you attach your phone to your body via the BangFit band or Malcom X; By ANY means necessary! 

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Don’t get carried away.

Look at it this way, finding a partner for copulation was probably the hardest part of your sexual conquests, so attaching your phone to your body before you fuck will probably require more creativity than usual but no where near the challenge. Then BANG!, you’re playing your very own version of Fuck Fuck Revolution, complete with on screen visual guides sponsored by Brazzers.

The goal is to make the sex last as long as possible while maintaining a rhythm. You’re supposed to be hitting the pelvic thrusts as the faces pop up along the track bar at the top of the screen. The longer it lasts and the more well timed pelvic thrusts, the higher the score and ideally, the better the sex. PornHub has done a phenomenal job of engaging their fans and the general public and this last endeavor doesn’t fall short at all. It’s all about spreading love and body positivity while getting in shape. I’m about to get mad fit.

 

 



About

Kevin ‘Ai-Que’ Smith II is a hip-hop artist, former educator, and co-Director of Philadelphia’s longest running Hip Hop event, The Gathering. As a English and History Education alum from the prestigious Lincoln University, PA Ai-Que also challenges the socio-cultural climate by fostering open dialogue and advocating for unity among underserved communities. He’s currently on a national music tour performing as a solo artist. Ai-Que’ explores hip-hop lifestyle, lyricism, politics, activism, technology and pop culture for OogeeWoogee.


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