The White Privilege of Ryan Lochte

Ryan Lochte is a fucking bonafide idiot.

This isn’t some new shit either, he’s been a total airhead for years now. Whether it’s his poor taste in douche haberdashery, his cultural appropriation of blacks by donning large gold chains and grills, or the dumb reality show he had a few years ago, Lochte has let us know sometime ago that he’s quite dim.

That’s me being kind.

Anyway, this asshole managed to cause a global stir over the last week, and it’s all because of his white privilege. If you’ve been under a rock for the past few days then that’s ok, I’ll truncate it for you.

As a matter of fact, I’ll do you one better. Here’s Lochte’s account of what happened to him in Brazil this past sunday. The fuckery starts at around the 2:09 mark.


Ok, so just to recap.

Lochte and a few other (white) swimmers went out for a night on the town in an almost entirely black and brown country. At some point while in a cab, they were pulled over by corrupt police officers in a place known for its violence. They were then given instructions to give up their possessions while at gunpoint. Lochte, total gangster that he is, insisted his party did nothing wrong, even after having a loaded weopon pointed at his forehead. As his friends lay face down in the dirt and crippled with fear, Lochte stands his ground and somehow only manages to get his wallet and credentials stolen. Afterwards, they head back to the Olympic village and tell police the next day about their ordeal.

Lochte is such a gangster.

Now, it must be known that the only reason why we even know this story is because this is the account he gave his mother when she asked why her 32 year-old teenager had come back in so late. Furthermore, why would she then tell the press first thing in the morning?

Anyway, after a week of scrutiny from normal and logical people, the truth finally came to light. As it turns out, Locthe and his teammates got stone drunk and ended up in a gas station in Rio. Next, one of his teammates somehow becomes locked in the bathroom and to get him out, the other three morons assist in the destruction of the bathroom door. From there, they urinate all over the walls (for some reason), and attempt to flee in their cab until approached by gas station employees and security. They do indeed get a gun pulled on them, but only because they refused verbal prompts to exit their attempted get away vehicle. After that, they pulled out their wallets and between the four of them, managed to rustle up $51 in American dollars to pay for the damages they caused.

There you have it, no violent encounter and no robbery at gunpoint. Yet for some reason, Lochte managed to receive the benefit of the doubt for his story, and in many cases out right belief.

That, ladies and gents, is white privilege in a nutshell.

I mean, why wouldn’t it be completely believable that four white boys in a brown country plagued by unfortunate violence, got robbed at gunpoint by crooks posing as police?

It’s because his complexion provided him the protection to even come up with some bullshit like that in the first place. It’s the same shit that got him on the Today Show to tell his tale, and it’s what garnered the sympathy that followed. Furthermore, it’s  what enabled him to leave the country and go home.

Funny thing is, the truth of what actually happened is way more believable to me. Four large, drunk, and privileged white guys destroy a bathroom and piss all over the walls?

Who wouldn’t regard that as true?

Ryan Lochte has since released this statement as an apology via his twitter account.

Just for kicks, here’s the video of what really happened that fateful night in Rio.

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